Eye Contact is a Key To Overcoming Stage Fright
In February of 2008, while attending several days of training in Las Vegas, I went on a search for my Holy Grail. I was on a quest for the secret to overcoming stage fright. That one trick that I just knew all speakers used.
I asked dozens of total strangers (both audience members and presenters) and couldn’t find that one thing that would cure my stage fright.
However, over the next couple of months, I began making eye contact with members of the audience and began to be much less afraid when speaking. Let me explain why.
Even in my twenties, I was extremely shy. I could not talk one-on-one with a stranger, much less talk to an audience. After years of working on it, I got better.
Then I would be at a party and a third person would join in the conversation … and mess me up. I wasn’t comfortable dividing my attention between the two. Over time, I finally got over it.
Then, in my fifties, I heard several speakers coach the importance of eye contact. And how you should scan the room. Other speaking coaches taught the importance of speaking conversationally to your audience.
I began to use both of these concepts. I would make eye contact with a member of the audience near the front and have a conversation with them for a sentence or two. Then, I would find a different member of the audience several seats away, make eye contact, and continue the conversation. And repeat. And I found I was much less nervous. In bigger rooms, as I moved my eye contact to the people in the back of the room, the connection would begin to weaken and I would start to get nervous again. But then I would return to my new found friends in the front row.
I would get complimented on how well I made eye contact. I did not confess that it was the only way I could keep from freezing up.
I had found my Holy Grail. I could move past my fear and learn to be a good speaker.
The next time you speak, try making strong eye contact and speaking conversationally with your audience,
If it works for you or it doesn’t, please let me know.
